A Hill to D.E.I. On, Part 1 | Embracing Differences Without Division

My grandmother was an opinionated woman. Strong-willed. Firm in what she believed. If you asked her, she was right about most things, and she wouldn’t hesitate to tell you so. But here’s the thing—she was also wise enough to understand that while she held her convictions close, most things don’t matter as much as we think they do.

She knew that being “right” wasn’t always the most important thing. What mattered more was how you treated people, how you made them feel, and how you carried yourself in a world full of differences. She had a GED and worked as a teacher’s aide in the local school, teaching neighborhood kids to read. She didn’t need a degree to understand what so many people today seem to miss: that the way we engage with those who think, live, and believe differently than we do is the real measure of who we are.

When she was dying, her house became a revolving door of visitors—people from every background, every race, every walk of life. One of them was her postwoman, a woman of a different ethnicity, a different faith, and a different age. And yet, over the years, my grandmother made space for her in the same way she did for so many others.

She didn’t just exchange pleasantries at the mailbox. She invited her inside. Sometimes they sat at the kitchen table, sharing conversation over a cup of coffee. Other times, my grandmother would simply listen, offering words of encouragement and, if needed, a prayer. Their lives, their backgrounds, and their experiences couldn’t have been more different, but none of that ever mattered. What mattered was the connection they shared—the understanding that even with their differences, they could show up for each other.

She never cared whether you thought like her. She cared that you were okay.

The Myth of Agreement
Somewhere along the way, people got it twisted. Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) isn’t about making everyone agree. It’s not about turning the world into one big echo chamber where we all think alike and never have to feel challenged. That’s not only unrealistic—it’s unnecessary.

We’ve convinced ourselves that if someone doesn’t share our views, they must be against us. That difference automatically equals division. But my grandmother’s life told a different story. She didn’t need to agree with you to respect you. She didn’t need to see the world exactly as you did to sit with you, talk with you, or invest in your well-being.

Welcome to humanity, where opinions matter, perspectives differ, and agreeing with someone 100% of the time is impossible. And honestly, that’s a good thing.

The truth is, we don’t need to agree on most things. If we can find even a couple of things to stand on together, that’s enough to build something real. And in the grand scheme of life, opinions shouldn’t be the foundation we build our society upon. That’s reserved for truths. And there’s a difference.

People Change, Not Just Opinions
I have my opinions. You have yours. And that’s fine. But here’s something we forget—opinions don’t change. People do.

We like to act like our beliefs are set in stone, like once we form an opinion, it’s locked in forever. But if that were true, we’d all still be the same people we were ten years ago. We’d never grow, never evolve, never learn from life.

My grandmother understood that. She knew that time, experience, and relationships could shift perspectives. Not because someone was forced to change, but because life has a way of shaping us in ways we never expect.

The real problem today isn’t that we disagree. It’s that we’ve stopped listening. We’re so caught up in proving our point that we’ve lost sight of the person standing in front of us. But my grandmother? She didn’t need you to agree with her. She just needed you to know you were seen, that you mattered, and that even in your differences, you deserved respect.

Meeting with Mindfulness
People love to say, “We just need to meet in the middle.” But maybe that’s not the answer. Maybe what we really need is to meet with mindfulness.

My grandmother didn’t spend her life trying to force her beliefs on people. She spent it making space. She created room for conversation, for connection, for understanding. And she did it without compromising who she was.

If you agree with my blogs, great. If you don’t, great. That’s the beauty of it. The goal isn’t to change your mind or force you into my way of thinking. The goal is to create space for different voices, knowing that those voices—whether they align with mine or not—matter.
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DEI isn’t about sameness. It’s about honoring what makes us different while never losing sight of what connects us. And if my grandmother—a woman with a GED, a heart full of love, strong opinions, and an open seat at her kitchen table—could model that, then surely, we can too.